Bitch Please
Norwegian "Don Giovanni" or the Norse "Casanova" if you'd like, Jon Asbjørn Skaar Torp (picture above), is sentenced to community service after swindling twelve women for more than £ 50 000, reports Norwegian tabloid Dagbladet.
One of the women involved - who prefers to remain anonymous, and we, quite frankly; do not blame her! - says it was the viking Casanova's personality she fell for and admits she should've seen through his constant lying. "He isn't exactly the tall and dark kinda guy, but is very convincing orally", she says. The fact that she calls her swindler "not exactly tall and dark" (picture above) must be the understatement of the year... She continues; "he said he worked for an IT-company and talked about cars and cabins he owned. He was also looking for a £ 100 000 car". Oh, please! An ugly guy like that (picture above), supposedly filthy rich and you believe him? Fair enough, but why borrow (or give) him any money?
Moral of this tragic story:
Do not borrow other people money. People with financial difficulties (like the editor of ingar.blogg.no) can borrow money from a bank, use their credit cards (like we prefer to do) or get a fucking job.
Men who brag about having money, have no money. Money is something you have - not something you talk about. Kinda like sex partners.
Careful Using Facebook
She's engaged but hasn't shagged in a while...
"My other pussy"? Are we talking anal here?
Daddy's Little Girl
ingar.blogg.no apologises for the few updates at our highly acclaimed site this summer. We will get back to all ye faithful readers soon with our strong reaction to United's lack of spending this summer and the woeful aquisition of Saint Micahel Of Owen.
As for our summer, on a personal note it has been great. We've recently been on vacation in God's own city, we got to experience the nicest weather in years - that only lasted for about a week - but we did miss the Slash with friends concert at Quart to a fucking (inter)course at our lab (we are working as labrats during the worst financial crisis in the history, remember).
Stay tuned.
She Might Have Reduced Her More Than Okay Breasts...
but the staff is still secretly in love with the former stripper, glamour girl, Norwegian pop star and Robbie Williams shagger, Lene Alexandra Øien!
Enjoy these pretty pictures from when her breasts were amazingly full of silicon. Just because the weekend's coming.
Cruel Eye Test
Solarium Is Bad For You (Don't Worry Baby, 'Cause We Just Wanna **** With You)
A Colombian Memory
She Was Young And Probably Needed The Money
Apologises for the slow updates right here (due to an ridicouls amount of work - all weekend, we even missed the United game!) with some nice photos of the then nineteen year old hottie former miss Norway winner Kathrine Sørland.
That's Why We're Going To The Olympics In Beijing!
Greetings From God's Own City
Sex and politics go together like hands in gloves and of course little, cozy Christianssand - firmly based in the middle of the Bible belt of Norway - has got its own teasing politician in twenty-three year old Tove Lill Løite representing the Progress Party (though no chance of a seat in the city council untill the next election in the autumn 2011) proudly walking in the footsteps of Ilona Staller (picture below) who famously left the pornography industry for a political career and was elected to the Italian parliament in 1987.
Fat Girls Gone Wild
We don't know nothing about the text in picture being true or not - but we do know that fat women for some reason (hungriness?) can be expected to give head more often than their skinny sisters. Actually; forget about that.
The headline isn't about fat or skinny girls giving head, and not about former ingar.blogg.no favourite Britney Spears and her awful "comeback" on the MTV Awards a month back. If you haven't seen her performance, it's worse than you expect. Britney looks drunk, hungover, doped up and un-choreographed all in once. Not to mention that she's turned fat. Yes, we do know that a lot of women would want a body like that for themselves, and sneer at the accusations that she's fat, but they tend to forget that ms.Spears is supposed to be a super-star. We expect the people we see on tv to be pretty, beautiful and slender, not fat! Britney Spears; the former pop-princess, icon, talisman for the pop-industry is a mere shaddow of her old self and unfortunately: Fat indeed.
No, the headline was "inspired" by this one obese (a finer word for "fat", we guess) girl we saw at a restaurant having the restaurant's special "eat as much as you like" offer (of course) and reading Wendy Shanker's book "Fat Girl's Guide To Life". Just as stupidity is now a "learning disorder", obesity is now "a way of life". Hilarious.
I Work In A Bank
"I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know."
Girls Wanna Do Us (Wanna Screw Us)
Haha, this friend of ours found the following piece on Craig's List. Read and laugh your heart out. Did a Mexican gold digger write this?
"What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth."
New Material From Britney Spears - This Better Be Good!
Old ingar.blogg.no favourite, Britney Spears, is on course for her long awaited comeback with new single "Get Back" released soon. Photos from the recording of her new video, shows Britney wearing a black wig and having fat thighs and a fat ass as her newest atributes. What the hell is Britney doing showing off her behind as much as the photos hint? Is her target group now the buyers of the dogdy magazine Chunky Asses, or what? Is she proud to have that "mommy ass" now?
Unless the her new material is overwhelmingly good, we predict a tough comeback for the sexiest girl alive 1999.
We, are most certainly not impressed.
The Cinderellas Of Our Time
Aylar
Norwegain/Persian beauty Aylar was thrown out of the miss Norway competition in a shameful matter after her past in pornography movies were discovered. Aylar was drugged down and kidnapped by members of her own family before forced to fuck on screen. Anybody seeing those movies today (they are so easy to get a hold of) will see how bad they are and there can be no question of whether Aylar was doped up or not. And for that they threw her out of a beauty competition? Those hypocrits!
Aylar proved she had more to her than a great smile, cute face and drop-dead gorgeous body when she used the sheep of the Norwegian press and started up a profitable business of glamour girls in the Team Aylar. She dominated headlines, was the most sought after hostess in the game and emerged on the front-covered of British tabloids after selling the story of a three-some with fellow glamour girl Lene "my boobs are okay" Alexandra and English singer Robbie Williams.
Anna-Nicole Smith (Vicky Lynn Hogan)
The late blonde, big-breasted mrs.Smith started out as one of Houston, Texas, most popular strippers before moving to Hollywood as an actress and model. Her debut in Playboy came after she won a front-cover competition and mrs.Smith became Norway's most loved and hated blonde when she was front figure (literally) of nine feet tall H & M billboards during their lingerie campaign the year after. Then boss of Norway's traffic departement, said at the time that he feared men would drive of the road due to staring at those billboards.
Mrs.Smith will arguably not be remember for her part in the Leslie Nielsen comedy "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult", but for her marrige to 89-year old billionarie Howard J. Marshall who died after one year of marriage. Mrs.Smith fought against her late husbonds shame of siblings, who claimed mrs.Smith only married for money and never loved their father. Who the hell are they to tell a dying, old, filfthy-rich man that he can't do whatever the fuck he wants? That he can't marry his favourite stripper (every guys simple wet-wish). Mr.Marshall probably still is turning in his grave seeing how his kids treated mrs.Smith after his death. Anna-Nicole simply gave him some love at the end of his life, and that was and is totally okay. I'd like to know how often his family visited him without the purpose of begging for money while he was still alive. Those spoiled and ungrateful brats.
Lindsay Lohan
Hollywood's queen of dance-floors, late-night partying and hanging out with well-know male-sluts makes Lindsay Lohan a perfect match for this list. Current boyfriend is reportadly stud Callum Best - son of his father.
To quote the Slut Machine; God, remember the dark ages when our young, unwed starlets pretended to be virgins? Thankfully, those days are gone. In the new issue of Elle, 20-year-old Lindsay Lohan tells us how she likes it: "If I'm going to give my body to someone, I'd rather them not be with other people, but I want to be able to (date) if I like someone else." I think LiLo's honesty about sex and relationships is a much better example for girls her age than the unrealistic claims that Britney and Jessica used to spew. The experience you gain from numerous partners will make you less likely to be a single mom to some wigger's babies or have a very publicly failed marriage by the time you're 25. Chaste makes waste, girls. Enjoy your vadge, and let others enjoy it as well."
Her Royal Highness Crowprincess Mette-Marit of Norway
I know our coming Queen hates it, but the story of her and our crownprince is in fact a modern-day Cinderella tale. The Crownprice being a spoiled brat from east-coast Norway (they decided to build the castle in the wrong part of Norway for some reason) have always had the ability and opportunity to just point at something - including people - to have it. So one time he meets this blonde and charming southern girl with a temper (all east-coast Norway boys' wet dream) that at the time didn't even know who he was at a Quart festival in the late nineties. Of course there's gonna be love in the air!
I totally get it from his point of view; all his women have been so-called "fit and proper" for one day becoming Queen of Norway - meaning they have been inexperienced boring nerds. It's obvious that a guy that can have however he wants, won't fall for just anybody. He wants to have a Queen in the bedroom too, he wants someone with an entirely different upbringing and background as himself.
Enter Mette-Marit: A happy, blonde girl without any ambition what so ever to get an education. She moves to the nation's capital after graduating from high-school, parties hard and find herself on the front-cover of every gossip magazine there is when the tales from her past is known. Some say the can tell by her cheek-bones that she has used amfetamine, but so what? I'd do the exact same thing as her if I were in her shoes - the only difference is that you'd never get a public apologise from me just because some hypocratic tabloid journalists demanded it. Jesus fucking Christ: Who does more drugs and have a bigger problem handling alcohol than tabloid journalists (that's exactely why I'd love to be one)? We're not exactely talking about swinging London in the sixties are we, we're talking about Oslo in the early nine-ties. A new city for her back then. A city filled with eastenders that cannot get enough of our Southern gals (who can ever blame them?).
I'll kiss the ground she's walking on when she's crowned Queen. A lot of people think that The King of Norway doesn't have power and is just a sympol of our country, but that's a misunderstanding and a serious underrestimate of the position. The entire Norwegian government have lunch with The King every Friday at the castle to tell Him their current work and plans. You tellin' me that The King hasn't got any power? The people that rule my country don't call me "Your Majesty". The name of the Norwegian government is translated directly into "The King's Council" in our Consitution and it's more stress then you think to democraticly remove His position.
Stuff the rest, Mette-Marit, we at ingar.bloggno love ya: Long Live The Queen!
The Rise and Fall of Britney Spears
I've been reading the news on Britney Spears new awful haircut like it was 9/11 all over. Britney has been one of my alltime favourite sluts and her fall from grace is a bigger news story than Lucifer's if you ask me.
1999 still is the greatest year in the history of mankind; Manchester United won The Glorious Treble (El Triple) and Britney Spears exploded in the popindustry changing they way they conduct their business. If you don't remember the awesome video to "(Hit Me Baby) One More Time", you're obviously no way near being the typical ingar.blogg.no reader and God forbid; you could be a minor! Though the material at this page may at times lack maturity, you should at least be sixteen to read this (Norwegian rule).
Britney Spears used to be one of the sexiest young women in show-biz, and if the aforementioned "Baby One More Time" isn't enough to fucking convince you, you clearly haven't seen the video of "Oops I Did It Again" or the nicely done "Toxic". Certain people claim Britney to be no more than a "white trash American girl", something I'll argue against (well, maybe not these days) forever. To me, American white trash girls are like quite a few I've seen in Mexico, not a sexy babe like our very own favourite!
Everybody know Britney's "I'm a virgin" was a lie long time ago. The point was obviously to sell records to the disgusting "White-America" that will not accept a "dangerous" or worse; "morally corrupting" artist. Furthermore, I'm sure Britney sold a little extra to the Christian societies due to her openly Baptist faith. All the more sluttier behaviour if you ask me.
Justin Timberlake and Britney were just like any other couple, but they didn't like talking about their sexlife openly. During those long-gone happy days - when Britney and Justin were the hottest couple in show-biz - I read this mouthwatering rumour about the two of them star in the new musical "Grease 3"! John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John twenty years later. A fantastic idea that never came to life. Britney instead flopped in her filmdebut against Kim Cathrall in "Crossroads" from 2002.
Britney managed well for a while after Justin; her kiss with Madonna and Christina Aguilera was the sexiest event at the time, and it was made hilariuos by the redly blushing face of Justin Timberlake standing in the crowd watching. The aforementioned "Toxic" video oozed a sexually confident Britney looking stunning in three different haircolours. But musically speaking, Britney seemed to be moving away from her original fanbase - something that inevitably lead to her downfall. I liked both "I'm a Slave 4 U" and thought "Toxic" was rockin', but sales weren't what it used to be and after rounds of fucking around with well-known male sluts such as Fred Durst, Colin Farell +++, a few bad public performances; and all of a sudden Britney found herself to be yesterday's news. The stories about her were from now on solely about alcohol and rumoured drug abuse and culminated in a ridiculous drunken-wedding with boyhood friend Jason Alexander (not the actor that played George Costanza).
These days, Britney is in the midsts of a bitter battle with her ex-husbond and can risk losing her own kids. A well-timed "I'm so sorry" on The Operah Winfrey show could do the trick, and maybe in a few years time a modern, mature Britney will release more music?
Happy birthday ladies!
Today is the international women's day and we here at ingar.blogg.no wishes every girl out there the best possible day (just stay away from socialism - you don't need that to be liberated). To all the guys out there we do take the opportunity to remind y'all that The Women is a gift to mankind from God. She must be treated with honesty and respect and she must never ever be hurt (physically obviously, it's okay to breake some hearts).
In other news, I am off to see the Solberg brothers destroy the Rally courts of Mexico! I've actually been a rally-fan longer than a football-fan - which might come as a surprise to a few of youse - beacuse the thing is that when I grew up I was a huge car enthusiast, playing with those mini-cars any kid should have, and Norway had two great drivers representing the sport in Martin Schanke and Ludvig Hunsbedt. The latter from God's own country Sørlandet and the former today a politician (I was not happy about him hitting that other politician, by the way). So I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve right now and just hope I get to meet the guys!
To "Hot4u69"
The commentator in questioned was unhappy with my choice in the upcoming election of Miss Norway 2007, so here's a more recent photo. How's this for a wet dream?
Five perfect girlfriends
Dating and keeping a relationship is hard work. Even in Mexico where every girl seems to have a boyfriend (though not caring or bothering being faithful). Why cannot real-life girls be like the movie girls? Well, maybe 'cause the scripts are generally written by men? Movie girls actually do know what to say and how to act.
The following girls are simply so perfect, not annoying or nagging, refusing to give heads etc that they make real life girls look bad:
Drea De Matteo as Adriana La Serva in Sopranos
An understanding, kind person with brains and excellent style sums up Adriana La Serva (I miss her more than Carmela!). Seeing her with Christopher makes all men wish they had a girl like her (before she turned CW obviously).
Patricia Arquette as Alabama Whitman in True Romance
No sucker for romance can escape the melting of heart just by the way Patricia Arquette speaks in this movie. Script written by Quentin Tarantino.
Salma Hayek as Isabel Fuentes Whitman in Fools Rush In
I know the movie suck, but Salma (amazing she's fourty!) is as cute as can be and that scene on the kitchen when she dances made me wish I never saw a woman dance again.
Amy Smart as Tracy Faucet in Rat Race
She works as a chopper pilot, nearly kills her cheating boyfriend and is just simply; Amy Smart!
Amanda Peet as Emily Friehl in A lot like love
I guess I'm a sucker for these romantic comedies, but Amanda Peet as that cool "rock chick" joining the Mile High Club with Ashton Kutcher in this one totally did it for me.
Norway leads the way
The proud Norwegian court system recently decided the evident; exotic dancing is art. For every form of art there must be critics, so I volunteer for that job.
Election coming up
This year's most anticipated election is coming up: Miss Norway 2007! I expect all my faithful readers to vote for God's own candidate from Sørlandet; Rebecca Aluwini Fiskå.
Young Rebecca, still at high-school, is a gorgeous women with hopes of one day becoming a fotojournalist. For those of you with a profil at Blink, check out frkbecca. But do remember to cast you votes!
Now that's sexy, Britney
Newly divorced ex-babe of pop, Britney Spears, have been see without wearing underwear on a number of occasions the past couple of weeks. She might consider herself to be "wild and crazy" and believe that not wearing underwear is sexy. Well, she's wrong. And so is everybody else that walk around without underwear, when it's so much dirty, sexy lingerie out there.
I wish Britney could be a female rolemodel (like she ones was, see picture above and to the right) and understand that dressing like ex-Red David Beckham's mistress Rebecca Loos (picture above and to the left, "stolen" from her MySpace profile) is the way to be sexy.
I'm sure Britney's ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake agrees with me as he hosts the Victoria's Secrets underwear fashion tonight. Tune in on CBS. I for one, holds in high regards the underwear the model below is wearing - from Agent Provocateur.
Oh the webcam girls
Over at filecabi.net/ there's a whole bunch of ladies undressing and/or dancing exotic in front of a cheap webcam for everyone to see. Why? Norwegian page Deiligst.no with mostly cell phone pictures of young girls has been widely debated in the Norwegian press. Some of them look frighteningly young too. I don't remember any of the girls in my high-school days posting pictures of themselves like that. It's a new phenomenon, just existing for a couple of years. Magazines for men, like FHM, have to reject a number girls wanting to posture with little or no clothes. Why? Is the reality-tv wave to blame? Exhibitionism is acceptable these days. Everybody's got their own picture posted somewhere on the net. And surprisingly many girls have their own domains. Like monicalund.org, for instance.
The rise and fall of the "glamour-girls" business is also a proof of more undressed average girls in my sight. 'Cause many of them aren't that beautiful. Though, I like Linni Meister - who have followed in the footsteps of celebs like Paris Hilston, Jordan and Pamela Anderson and had a private adult homevideo with boyfriend published against her will (seen it downloading nerds? In that case; ship it over!).
By the way, when I had a Norwegian ip-adress there where tons of commercials for "girls from your local area" at many a webpage. Now that I have a Mexican ip-adress the same women seems to have followed me half a world away. Strange.
What's the fuzz?
En av Norges mest kjente attenåringer er toppløs i syden blant tusenvis av andre nordmenn. En eller annen gris (takker!) tar bilder og selger til Aktuell Rapport. 18-åringen raser. Aktuell Rapport trykker likevel ikke bildene, men jeg publiserer dem her. Ikke så mye å bråke for, er det vel?
Jeg får uansett ikke glemt Tones herlige cowgirl skjørt under Idol i fjor. Og håper å se henne i FHM snart. I så måte er Cindy Hovde et forbilde (selv om hun stilte opp i det noe mer konservative Mann).
To all the girls
No I don't love you
No, I'm not gonna say I love you
No, I don't wanna see you everyday (or every weekend)
No, I don't wanna meet your family
No, I'm not gonna respond to every text message you send
No, I'm not gonna be solely yours
No, you're not my no 1 priority (you're not even close at getting in to the top ten)
Yes, I'm happy with seeing you every now and then
Yes, I will hit on your friends (at least fantasize about them)
And finally; yes, I will watch porn/go to a gentleman's club if it suits me
Homenaje a Jazmin
I shouldn't write this post as I first off have no control over who the fuck enters this blog, and second off it's quite unfair of me to range the women I've met so far as they're all beautiful, nice and good company (maybe the headline of this post should've been "to all the girls"?). The first favourite girl I got in Mexico was Alex who unfortunately went back to her native country far to soon. I would've wrote more on her and obviously posted a picture of the two of us together, but my enemy Father Time would simply not let that happen.
So this post is about the natural beauty Jazmin who rarely dresses up, most of the time she wears simple casaul wear. Imagine how she looks when she does dress up! Her sister Jaharia is constant dressed up, a hell of a beauty and a great flirt. But maybe she's one of those type of women who'd been told one too many times that she's a knock-out? There's something about beautiful women like Jazmin who wears her beautiness with such a natural sympathic attitude towards the world. Jazmin's not disillutioned by los hombres that I'm sure have drewled over her for the past decade. She doesn't wear that much make-up and don't use fake eyelashes like her sister. I'd go as far as to say I'd give up red meat just to catch a glimps of Jazmin in a bra. And my hermano Nicky told me he forgets his own name when looking at her.
Both Jazmin and Jaharia has got boyfriends (they would only know). Jazmin's boyfriend's a nice guy and I don't know if I'd prefer him to be a complete fucking asshole or if I'm atleast glad she's got someone good? Jaharia's boyfriend doesn't deserve her at all (kinda like AJ Soprano with Brenda) and Nicky and I will place him in a weelchair where he belongs sooner rater than later.
The sisters have indeed charmed me and besides, Jazmin did cry when I left Guanajuato ("so when I'm gone, don't mourn, just carry on"). So did Sarai, but my "feelings" for her are far more ambivalent.
Tutu-festival reviewed
So local city's tutu-festival is finally over and writing this I'm no longer in native country, but moved to the land of tacos and tequilas.
This year's Quart-festival meant nothing to me musically expect for legendary band Depeche Mode. Sadly the tickets were of course sold-out before I got out my finger to buy one, so the only artists I saw were Lady Sovereign (just nineteen years old and thus speaking to my generation), Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (clap your hands if you are boring) and Kanye West. When mr. West entered the stage I was already wasted after my brother, the plummer, Gerrard and me had sung the "manamana" and "pule, pule, pule" while drinking a good amount of local beer. Not to mention that we of course had a few drinks on a traditional Norse vorspiel before entering the festival. The not so friendly guards of the festival asked me and my company to shut the hell up 'cause people complained they couldn't hear the music! When Kanye West started his show I believe I could recognized some of his songs, but the main reason for being inside the festival was for the booze and women, not the music.
The tutu week started really bad with local team IK Start playing like a bunch of fags against the shittiest team in Norway on Monday. Tuesday we managed to get some sun and staring at girls at the local beach. Gerrard obviously had to make a pass at a hot dermathologist who gave us sunblock for free. In the evening I had the joy of watching Germany loose the World Cup semi-final and barbequing at Dre's new wonderful house with Kit, Kov, Tommy and the lot. Later we went down-town but I'm not sure what we did, although I'm sure it included some Champagne and women in their shortwearing skirts. Wednesday was the day of "music", and Thursday was the really scandalous day of Quart. It started off rather nicely with surprisingly many normal women at our vorspiel and the disco-twins made us some nice barbeque. After the tenth bottle of Champagne had been drunk it was about time to start with the gin-tonics. At the time we arrived at the "hipster" club "Kick", I looked like someone who'd lived on a beach for a decade and the guards barly let me in. But I didn't stay inside for a long time. When the guys ordered another round of 10-15 bottles of Champagne in the vip-section, I was so wasted I hardly could stand on my feet. The aforementioned guards noticed and escorted me brutally outside. Luckily I met former roomie Aline at the "Javel pub" and there I slept in her lap for a while. Unfortunately I was still completely wasted when I woke up, but this time I was allowed to sleep in KC's lap outside the local harbour police entrance. After a short nap where KC answered my phones and whatnot, we decided it was time to get home. Walking home made me in a pretty good shape again, so we came up with the brilliant idea of inviting to a typical Norse nachspiel. And people weren't afraid to join! The plummer, Gerrard, Rikard, Kristian, myself and some seventeen year old broad they had picked up on the street had the injoyment of drinking up everything what was left in my parents house. And there were a lot left! Long story short, the plummer made a milion passes on the seventeen year old, killed all of my fathers plants, destroyed a couple of furniture, beat Gerrard in an armwrestle (whereas Gerrard got pissed and went to bed) and generaly acted like a sterotype Bergen working boy. Remember I went home pretty early so there were plenty of time for me to keep on drinking. And my last beer I finished about 10 am Friday morning. Jesus, rough week.
Mat for egoet
Søndag ettermiddag: Det har vært en hard kveld dagen før og formen er skranten. Plutselig popper det opp en melding fra en kvinne jeg ikke kunne huske jeg hadde fått nummeret til; "hei, og takk for i går. Har type, så beklager det som skjedde". Jeg beklager ingenting, men skrev tilbake at om situasjonen skulle endre seg, er det bare hyggelig med kontakt. To dager senere får jeg en ny melding fra samme kvinne; "jeg nyter solen, hva gjør du?". Jeg hadde på det tidspunktet akkurat kommet hjem fra jobb og ville mer enn gjerne nyte solen sammen med henne. Så skjedde også. Hun inviterte meg opp til seg og der ble jeg noen gode timer.
Flere kvinner i bloggsfæren
Siden forrige gang jeg skrev om alle de hundretusenvis av kvinnelige bloggere som finnes, har jeg selvsagt oppdaget et par favoritter til. Felles for dagens utvalgte er at samtlige har en blogg via VG. En blogg via VG eller den andre forferdelige Oslo-avisen er gratis, men layouten er ganske tam (nesten helt lik for alle) og begge avisene opererer med en såkalt "moderator". Det betyr sensur. Liberalisten Pleym, fikk slettet et innlegg av VGs moderator som omhandlet Cannabismarsjen 2006. Begrunnelse? "Vi tillater ikke reklame for kommersielle arrangementer"...at Cannabismarsjen ikke er et kommersielt arrangement, men en lovlig politisk markering bryr VG seg lite om. Samtlige av mine utvalgte kvinnelige bloggere denne gang har på et eller annet tidspunkt skrevet om hvor dårlige VGs bloggløsninger er og hvor lite tilfredsstillende deres "moderator" virker. Styr følgelig unna, og bruk heller Blogsoft eller Blogspot.
Da jeg skrev om kvinner i bloggsfæren sist kommenterte jeg at når de norsk kvinnelige bloggerne skriver såpass ubludt om puling, er dette et tegn på seksuell frigjøring. Ingrid er ikke enig, og påpeker at de fleste er anonyme. Altså er vi tilbake i "hore eller madonna" debatten.
Denne månedens favoritter i den kvinnelige bloggsfæren:
Superjento og MizTery oppgir begge at de er i 20-årene. Her skrives det utelukkende om singelliv, puling og shopping.
WildKim jobber et sted i "Syden" og opplever mye rart der. Hun skriver godt i dagbokform og noen av historiene hennes er jævla morsomme. F.eks har hun ikke overraskende møtt enkelte svenske huleboermenn.
MariaMariaOslo skriver humoristisk og frekt om aktuelle politiske saker. Og med Balle Klorin og Supperådet som øverste politiske ledelse i Norge har hun nok å ta av. Men MariaMariaOslo har dessverre bestemt seg for å gi seg med bloggingen og oppgi VGs bloggløsning som en av grunne til å slutte å skrive. Noe jeg synes er jævlig synd.
Dipa er amerikanske statsborger, men oppvokst i Norge og skriver på norsk om sine opplevelser som arbeidssøkende i USA. Hun skriver engasjerende i dagbokform og jeg håper virkelig hun får den jobben hun vil ha! Denne bloggen kan det være litt å lære av.
Forresten har en av mine absolutte favoritter Mihoe fått ny adresse. Mihoe er i tredveårene og har ganske mange faste lesere. Det ble ikke færre da hun startet med sin kåring av ukens bloggmannegris.
Are you wearing stockings?
Are you planning on a night out tonight or this weekend? Have you bought a new fancy dress lately? Are you putting on delicate make-up and your new Louis Vuitton shoes? Would you like my attention? Don't forget the most important factor in the art of looking good; the stockings! To all you gals out there; learn from the best, learn from Monica Bellucci and wear stockings like the ones she's wearing above. Ms Bellucci is perhaps the sexiest woman alive, completely natural (no botox or silicon in her body) and the way she wears her stockings is a role model for all other women.
I'm looking forward to making a hit on you.
PS: If the weather is as good as it is in local city Christianssand these days, it's okay to wear a skirt with bare legs.
Art or pornography?
Is it pornography whenever a woman shows her breasts on a picture? I think not! The female body is so beautiful that a tasty picture actually can be art. I've never been very much into pornography myself - I need the girl to like me in order to enjoy (phone-sex and prostitutes are obviously out of the question). I found a site on the net (thanks to FHM) with art pictures of women. The pictures are of mostly unknown models, but also include Jessica Alba and Kim Cathrall. The picture above is my favourite because it reminds me of my local city during the summer. And especially during the Quart festival. If you ever get there, I hope you'll enjoy it enough to understand why we (without any irony) call it Scandinavias Hawaii.
Kvinner i bloggsfæren
Her er mine favoritter blant kvinnene i bloggsfæren:
Vampus: Hun var bedre da hun var anonym, men skriver fortsatt godt om norsk politikk og samfunnsliv med et til tider liberalistisk ståsted. Er medlem i Høyre.
Mihoe: Skriver mest om sitt eget liv, og hennes "dater fra helvete" er hysterisk morsom lesning.
Oslogirl: Hun har gitt seg nå, men skrev svært bra om Norge sett fra en amerikansk innvandrers synspunkt. Hennes gamle innlegg er vel verdt lesningen.
MillaVanilla: Hun er etter eget utsagn "en moden kvinne" og skriver mest i dagbokform. Hennes beretninger om puling og kjærlighet er både svært velskrevne, morsomme og til dels rørende.
Ingrid Kylstad: For en gangs skyld en ikke-anonym blogg. Ingrid er en liberaler og skriver om sitt liv i Maastricth.